IT’S NOT AN AWARENESS PROBLEM.
It’s a permission problem.
Many first responders believe in support—just not for themselves.
I’ve heard it for years. When I ask, “Do you deserve support?” the answer is often:
Yeah, but ______.
The reasons vary—but the pattern is clear.
This project is about naming it, understanding it, and starting to break it down.
I’ve named it The Yeahbut Project. Join me.
WHAT
This is a short survey for first responders and helpers (including significant others).
I’m asking you to reflect on the question: ‘Do I deserve support?’ and share the reasons that hold you back.
Completely anonymous. I promise.
WHY
I believe this hidden dynamic—feeling undeserving of support—is a key obstacle.
It not only keeps many stuck but also limits the effectiveness of those trying to help.
Clarifying the dynamic will help us all move forward.
HOW
My hope is that the survey is distributed far and wide. I want as much input as possible.
The goal is a minimum of 1,000 responses.
I will then review the data and share what I find in both a written report and webinars.
For the nerds:
I (Shannon) will hand-code all responses in order to produce both quantitative and qualitative insights. No AI coding will be used - each and every word that is shared matters and I will read them all.
Kristen will help me review and decide on any responses where the coding needs a second set of eyes.
We are the only two that will see raw data. Privacy protection is a hill we will die on.
Shannon Mead
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist - but this is my second career. I spent the first part of my professional life as a tech/data consultant. During grad school, I co-founded a small non-profit that spent several years gathering and reporting information on the foster parent experience in Washington State. My nerd roots run deep.
Kristen McCormack
Kristen McCormack is a nationally certified counselor and the owner of Anchor and Flank Wellness (and a baddie Type 4 engine operator during the wildland season). She is in the final stages of publishing a research article that unpacks how hot-shotting impacts relationships.